What Not to Do With Deaf Friends, and What You Can

Many people hesitate when meeting a Deaf person for the first time, worrying they might make a mistake and appear rude. In reality, the core of proper etiquette is simple: Communicate using your eyes instead of sound. 

However, since not all Deaf people prefer the same method, the best approach is to simply ask, “What is the most comfortable way for you to communicate?”

Some helpful tips include:

• Get their attention visually or through touch. Wave your hand within their field of vision or gently tap their shoulder.

• Make eye contact. Eye contact signals that you are focused on what they are saying.

• Even if an interpreter is present, look at and speak directly to the Deaf person.

• Show an effort to learn ASL. Even if you aren't fluent, attempting to greet them in sign language is generally welcomed.

Some things to avoid are:

• Do not shout or exaggerate your lip movements. Not all Deaf people read lips, and exaggeration actually makes it harder to understand.

• Do not use the term hearing impaired. The standard terms to use are Deaf or hard of hearing.

• Do not cut off the conversation by saying, “It’s okay, it’s nothing important.” Instead, make an effort to write it down or rephrase what you said.

• Avoid walking between two people who are conversing in sign language.

Yet, it is important to remember that one’s attitude is far more important than just memorizing these rules. Indeed, Deaf people are not simply people in need of help, but are individuals with their own language and culture.